As You Dance to the Song Of A Suicide
by Encantadora Rosa
Summary: I'm more like a social worker to my older sister rather than a sibling. Without me she would be pregnant, a runaway or dead. "Hey Juliet, I'm addicted to LSD" - I can handle that. "Hey Juliet, I plan on becoming the Dairy Queen of Satan" - Okay, we're reaching the edge. "I hooked up with my teacher" - Damn. And then there's James Potter. (Rated M for safety) (Abandoned for now)


**DISCLAIMER : I DON'T OWN ANYTHING YOU RECOGNISE EXCEPT THE OC'S. EVERYTHING ELSE BELONGS TO JK ROWLING! I DO NOT OWN THE LYRICS TO 'LOADED' BY HOLE.**

**22nd May 2013. – This is a slightly updated version of the chapter with better grammar. I just re-read it and I actually think it's not that bad except for some terrible clichés. I'm considering continuing it after I finish another fic. I forgot what my original plot for the story was so I'll have to make up something totally new after this :P I even lost the character sketches I made, ugh .**

**"Blacklung coat and your little crown**

**That's the crown that you get for falling down**

**Hey baby let me look in your eyes**

**I see you standing in a weird red light**

**The pump and grind that I call my head**

**The suck milk nebula I use instead**

**The suck milk clot and the sweet cream udder**

**The weird red light that pulls you under**

**Open my scars come out my stars**

**Slut me open and suck my scars**

**And now I'm loaded**

**Yeah now I'm loaded"**

**Loaded by Hole**

* * *

My family is a dysfunctional mess. No, this is not some depressed teenager writing life draining poetry in her journal. It's happening, like really. Adriana, my sister spent her summer smoking pot and listening to abrasive rock music. Okay, it's the 1970's and girls should be allowed to do what they want – but Adri went around picking fights with every male in Ireland as if us females were suffering some horrible injustice. She probably gets it from that feminist bookshop which influenced her to start tarot reading and pick up books like Delta of Venus. My parents would go crazy if they knew.

Then comes my younger brother, Toby, who's the culprit – he's the one writing life draining poetry in his filled with traumatizing stories journal. All he does is mope around in his room. He's only 13 for Merlin's sake. Like, come on! He should be doing something new…like er, doing what kids his age do. Oh, I don't know. It's just so depressing. He doesn't even like pancakes anymore. Now that's just horribly sad.

Last - but not the least, my parents. They try to act like modern wizarding parents but in reality they're just pissed that no one speaks Irish Gaelic anymore. They try to push it into us but Adri's the only one who gets it. If she just studied she'd have got O's in her OWL's. But nope, apparently she's a 'rebel'. Dad doesn't know much about it as he spends the day teaching. (He's a Muggle professor). Since mum has nothing to do she bakes, screams at us and tries to use household spells which she honestly isn't very good at. I swear I've gained 10 pounds this summer.

And me, Juliet Bonny? Normal. Depressingly normal.

I can't wait to go back to Hogwarts.

_" Faigh síos anseo, tá tú go leor!"_

"What did mum say?" I ask Adri. She's the only one who can translate the Irish.

"Get down – not that nicely. We're probably late for the ferry to England. C'mon, let's go, Juliet."

* * *

An hour later we're on the ferry. It's early morning and really cold. The first of September. To be honest, it's not much different at Hogwarts. Just more interesting. Magic makes everything more interesting. I really hope 5th year brings some conquests my way. I snort. There's no way that happening. My family looks are against me and it's not like I'm incredibly talented at anything.

Everyone in the Bonny family has coppery red hair and a dusting of freckles on their nose. It would be okay if it was auburn red or something. But nope, it's bright coppery red. My father says that we've got pirate's blood in us as Anne Bonny, the female pirate, was actually a witch and related to us. I usually brush off most of his theories (he's got loads of them) but this one is actually pretty decent. But apparently, Anne was 6 foot 3. Well, I certainly didn't get any of those genes. Being 5 foot 4. I may not be extremely short, but I'm a midget compared to Adri who's 5'10''.

It's depressing, really. I'm just so…normal. Even though people are intimidated by Adri they still like her. She's brave, sticks to her gut and just doesn't care. I can understand how she got into Gryffindor. Not me and Toby. We're so non-Gryffindor. I guess it runs in the family. Even mum, dad, nana and granddad were all in Gryffindor.

Adri comes up to me while I'm on the deck.

"Where's mum?" she asks.

"No idea, probably inside with Toby," I answer.

"Good, I've got something tell you. I-"

Adri hesitates. I can see her fiddling with her hair. This means she's probably in some deep shit. I'm the only one who usually helps her out of whatever's going on in her life. I may be the good girl but that doesn't mean I don't know anything.

"Are you pregnant? Killed someone? Replaced the salt with su-"

"No!" she exclaims cutting me halfway. "Look, I'll tell you in the train. It's really serious, not some teenager stuff like that."

With that, she walks away.

Whoa, when did killing someone become 'teenager stuff'?

* * *

My heart rises up a little as I drag my luggage into Hogwarts Express. The familiar scent of owl droppings, old leather and pumpkin pies wafts into my nose and I smile. It's just makes me feel free. I can forget mums glares – they don't exist in Hogwarts.

Then I remember Adri's face on the ferry and I'm worried. Something has got to be going on. She doesn't usually have that 'worried' look in her large grey-green eyes. What she wants to tell me is either something ridiculous or really serious.

It's funny, the bond I have with Adriana. I'm more like her social worker than sister. I fix most of her solvable problems. I could solve the LSD and pit – except for the fact that she doesn't want me to. But really, without me she'd be pregnant, a runaway or dead.

I drag my hundred year old suitcase to the last compartment and lift it on to the luggage rack. It's only half past ten. With the entire drama mum made, we still got here on time. Hopefully, Layla will be here.

Layla Merrythought is this really clever girl who'll surprise you at the most random moments. I think she's the prefect this year. I got an owl from her saying that she got 'the' badge. I'm not sure which badge – Quidditch or prefect. Probably prefect – she hasn't shown any talent at Quidditch though she loves cheering for James Potter.

James Potter.

I sigh. I know I shouldn't be obsessing over him – he's in love with Lily Evans. It's silly but I guess I'm a hopeless romantic. It's stupid but he's just so goddamn attractive and annoyingly mischievous and nice.

On the other hand, Lily makes my blood boil. She's so frigging perfect. Why does she have to become all fem-nazi and beat me at Charms and Potions? The only subjects that I do like! She has James Potter chasing her and acts as if she doesn't care. She needs to learn how to accept what she has and make that beautiful auburn hair less auburn.

I guess I'm jealous.

The compartment door opens. Adri walks in.

"What is it?" I ask immediately.

She sits there for sometime pushing chewing her blue streaked hair. I take some time to just look at my sister. She's pretty. If she just stopped wearing that ghastly kohl around her eyes and got her hair back to coppery red she'd look more natural. Adri's tall, has an athletic body and can be really nice when she feels like. I'm not surprised she doesn't have a boyfriend though. All guys are scared of her. She's very aggressive and has a really competitive streak –especially in Quidditch. If only she wasn't so goddamn stubborn with them.

"Look Julie...you know our Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher...?" she asks, delicately ending her question with a hint of nervousness.

"Yeah, Adrian Noir – he teaches you right?" I ask suspiciously.

"Yeah, well I'm sure it's not legal bu –"

"OH MY GOD, DID HE RAPE YOU?" I stand and scream turning heads from all directions. Adri blushes a little.

"Hell no, Juliet. Sit down and stop making stupid assumptions," she says laughing a bit. Then her face grows all serious again.

"Look, I don't know if it's legal but we, uh, sort of hooked up."

I stare at her for a moment. A long moment.

"Uh, Adri..." I say. "I don't know how you and a teacher can...hook up."

"Yeah well, you're taking this pretty good. I really like him, you know."

This is not happening. I know my sister is crazy...but this? I mean, the dude must be pretty brave and everything but he can get kicked out. I don't even know him that well. He doesn't really teach us. I just know him as the 'teacher who looks young'. But even with all this running in my mind I know I can't sell her out. Sisterhood, you know.

"Okay, details," I ask in a voice as calm as I can manage.

"Well, you know that wizard party we went to at the beginning of summer?"

I nod. I didn't see her for the whole night. I was with Toby and his group of angsty wannabe poet friends. They were literally chanting for Satan or something. Creepy as hell.

"Yeah, I met him there – and we had this instant connect. We talked a bit about school and other stuff and then he kissed me," she says. I swear I could hear her voice become a little wistful.

Oh man, this is making me feel so sick. He teaches 5th years. This is not good.

"Well, we sort of spent the night together – not so close, but you get it, right? Anyway, we spoke a little during the summer and that's it. Now that we're reaching school I have no idea what to expect. What do I do?"

This is my sister in her most helpless state. If she's come to me then she really has no idea on what to do.

"Okay, er, it's pretty obvious," I say. "He's a teacher. You're a student... illegal. Repulsive. He can get kicked out and you can get expelled. Not good, Adri. End it."

She looks at me sadly.

"Well, I was hoping you'd be a little more supportive..."

"And tell you to shag him? C'mon, Adri. I won't tell anyone if you end it. Ignore him, and if anything happens tell me, kay?"

"I hate you, Juliet" she says laughing.

Honestly, this doesn't make me laugh. It makes me feel sick. My family really is a dysfunctional mess.

* * *

**AN - Let me know what you think of it! Not forcing you to review but it would be nice to get acknowledged so I can continue :) Do you see this going anywhere? Thanks.**


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